Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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