who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Randomize
