We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Randomize
