My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Randomize
