She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize
