Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
