note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Randomize