i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
