just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
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