Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
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