I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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