Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
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