I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
