Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
