Swine flu. Run for my life!
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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