Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
You ate ashes out of my bong
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
