Will you blow on my dice?
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I'm too high and old for this...
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
