He is an equal opportunity slut.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
