hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
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