yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
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