So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Randomize
