I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Who did Billy Mays play for?
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
