you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
