i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
