she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
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