You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
He told me they were just razor bumps!
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
