Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
