She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Randomize
