It's like God shit irony all over that family
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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