she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
So much Jack, so little girl.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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