i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
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