idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
