I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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