She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
