I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
i love accidental penises.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
