he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
