Where is the hickey?
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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