names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
