What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize