I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
