I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Randomize
