ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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