its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
