i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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