dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
what day is it and did you see me today?
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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