and you said cock pushups were impossible
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I'm at about main and main street
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Let the clothes fall where they may.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
