She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Randomize
