Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
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