Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Randomize
