i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
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I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
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The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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