Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
