dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
