Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
