Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
