Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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