belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
What happened to fro yo and sex?
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
