dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
I checked into jail on foursquare
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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