if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
i love accidental penises.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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