Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
