dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize
