just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
