I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
