A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
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