then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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