i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Randomize
