how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
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